Jokes and riddles With Answers – Part 1

Jokes and riddles

David's father has three sons: Snap, Crackle, and _____?
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David.

Jokes and riddles

How did the beaver get online?
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He logged on.

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Jokes and riddles

What did the triangle say to the circle?
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You�re pointless.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a wizard from outer space that can fly?
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A flying sorcerer!

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Jokes and riddles

Which one of Santa's reindeer is the fastest?
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Dasher.

Jokes and riddles

How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
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You rock-it!

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Jokes and riddles

Where can you learn to make ice cream?
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In sundae school.

Jokes and riddles

What room do ghosts avoid?
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The living room.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the outlaw steal the deck of cards?
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He heard there were 13 diamonds in it.

Jokes and riddles

Which is the only way a leopard can change his spots?
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By going from one spot to another.

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Jokes and riddles

Why didn't the Mummy have any friends?
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He was too wrapped up in himself.

Jokes and riddles

What time does a tennis player get up?
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Ten-ish.

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Jokes and riddles

Where do you take a sick boat?
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To the dock!

Jokes and riddles

What did the little lobster get on its math test?
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Sea-plus.

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Jokes and riddles

What part of London is in France?
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The letter N.

Jokes and riddles

How do you know that a vampire loves baseball?
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Because he turns into a bat every night.

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Jokes and riddles

Where does a werewolf like to hide?
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In your claws-it.

Jokes and riddles

Where do butterflies sleep?
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On Caterpillows!

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Jokes and riddles

What did the bee say to the flower?
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Hello, honey!

Jokes and riddles

What flowers are kissable?
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Tulips.

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Jokes and riddles

Why do skeletons go on vacations alone?
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Because they have no-body to go with.

Jokes and riddles

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
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Because it didn�t have the guts.

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Jokes and riddles

What do cheerleaders eat for breakfast?
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Cheer-eee-ohs!

Jokes and riddles

What four-legged animal can jump higher than a house?
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Any, Houses can't jump.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the king go to the dentist?
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To get a new crown.

Jokes and riddles

Why did Tigger go to the bathroom?
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He wanted to find his friend, Pooh!

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Jokes and riddles

When does a British potato change its nationality?
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When it becomes a french fries.

Jokes and riddles

Why was the picture sent to jail?
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Because it was framed.

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Jokes and riddles

What hired killer never goes to jail?
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An exterminator.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did Frosty the Snowman ask for a divorce?
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Because his wife was a total flake.

Jokes and riddles

What type of music do rabbits listen to?
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Hip hop.

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Jokes and riddles

Why is Peter Pan always flying?
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He Neverlands.

Jokes and riddles

Why did the scarecrow win so many awards?
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He was out-standing in his field!

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Jokes and riddles

How do you make a poisonous snake cry?
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Take aways it rattle.

Jokes and riddles

What did the comedian say when he took off his clothes?
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Haven't you ever seen a comic strip.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the vampire take art class?
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He wanted to learn how to draw blood.

Jokes and riddles

Why weren't the tennis players allowed in the restaurant?
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Because they make too much raquet.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
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Because he wants to go to High school

Jokes and riddles

What happened to the broken-down frog?
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It got toad (towed) away.

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Jokes and riddles

What is a ghost's favorite dessert?
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Ice Scream.

Jokes and riddles

Why didn't the monster eat the crazy person?
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He was allergic to nuts.

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Jokes and riddles

What has toes but no feet or legs?
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Tomatoes.

Jokes and riddles

Why is Santa so good at Karate?
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Because he has a black belt.

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Jokes and riddles

What is faster hot or cold?
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Hot, you can easily catch a cold.

Jokes and riddles

What did the hamburger buy his sweetheart?
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An onion ring.

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Jokes and riddles

Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
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Because of all the wrapping.

Jokes and riddles

What kind of nut has no shell?
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A Doughnut.

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Jokes and riddles

What did Sir Lancelot wear to bed?
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A knight gown!

Jokes and riddles

What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else?
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Nacho cheese!

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Jokes and riddles

How do caterpillars swim laps?
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They do the butterfly.

Jokes and riddles

Where do bedtime books sleep?
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Under their covers.

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Jokes and riddles

Why was the nose so tired?
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Because it had been running all day.

Jokes and riddles

What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
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Catch you later.

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Jokes and riddles

Who always enjoys poor health?
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A doctor.

Jokes and riddles

What's a lifeguard's favorite game?
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Pool.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call a snowman in the summer?
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Puddle.

Jokes and riddles

When do astronauts eat their sandwiches?
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At launch time.

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Jokes and riddles

What language does a billboard speak?
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Sign language.

Jokes and riddles

What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
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It's Christmas, Eve!

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Jokes and riddles

What kind of make up is a ghost's favorite to wear?
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Mas-scare-a.

Jokes and riddles

How do spiders communicate?
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Through the worldwide web.

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Jokes and riddles

Where do wolves stay on vacation?
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At a howliday inn.

Jokes and riddles

What type of music is a mummy's favorite?
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Wrap.

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Jokes and riddles

What kind of music can you hear in space?
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A nept-tune.

Jokes and riddles

I can be cracked, I can be made. I can be told, I can be played. What am I?
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A Joke!

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call pigs that write letters to each other?
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Pen Pals.

Jokes and riddles

Why did the turkey cross the road?
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To prove he wasn't chicken.

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Jokes and riddles

Why does the teacher wear sunglasses when she comes to the class?
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Because the students are bright.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a fish with no eye's?
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Fsh.

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Jokes and riddles

Why was the broom late?
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It overswept.

Jokes and riddles

Which President wore the largest hat?
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The one with the largest head.

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Jokes and riddles

How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
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With a pumpkin patch.

Jokes and riddles

What is harder to catch the faster you run?
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Your breath!

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Jokes and riddles

What do elves learn in school?
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The elf-abet.

Jokes and riddles

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
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Frostbite.

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Jokes and riddles

Who is never hungry during Christmas?
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The turkey because he is always stuffed.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?
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Claustraophobic.

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Jokes and riddles

Why can you not trust Atoms?
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Because they make up everything.

Jokes and riddles

What did the spider say to the fly on Halloween?
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The web is the trick and you are the treat.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
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A gummy Bear.

Jokes and riddles

When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
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When you are a mouse.

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Jokes and riddles

When is a doctor most annoyed?
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When he is out of patients.

Jokes and riddles

How do vampires like their food served?
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In bite-size pieces.

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Jokes and riddles

How do monkeys make toast?
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They put it under the g'rilla

Jokes and riddles

What did the tree wear to the pool?
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Swim trunks!

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Jokes and riddles

Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting?
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Because they always drop their needles.

Jokes and riddles

What does a snowman like to eat for breakfast?
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Frosted Flakes.

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Jokes and riddles

Two blondes were going to disneyland and came to a fork in the road. One way said highway 93 right and the other said Disneyland left.
Why did the blondes go home?
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Because they thought that disneyland actually left.

Jokes and riddles

Why couldn't Goldilocks sleep?
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Because of nightbears.

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Jokes and riddles

What do elves do after school?
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Gnomework!

Jokes and riddles

Why are teddy bears never hungry?
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Because they are stuffed.

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Jokes and riddles

Where do cows go to dance?
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The Meatball.

Jokes and riddles

Where do TVs go on vacation?
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To remote places.

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Jokes and riddles

What did one math book say to the other math book?
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Do you want to hear my problems?

Jokes and riddles

What animal is most likely to eat a relative?
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An ant-eater!

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Jokes and riddles

Why didn't the turkey finish it's dessert?
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Because it was stuffed.

Jokes and riddles

When is music like vegetables?
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When there are two beats (beets) to the measure.

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Jokes and riddles

Why is Europe like a frying pan?
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Because it has Greece at the bottom.

Jokes and riddles

Why did Snap, Crackle and Pop get scared?
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They heard there was a cereal killer on the loose.

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Jokes and riddles

Do rabbits use combs?
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No, they use hare brushes.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call it when your parachute doesn't open?
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Jumping to a conclusion.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call two witches who live together?
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Broommates!

Jokes and riddles

What is the worst vegetable to have on a ship?
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A leek(leak).

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Jokes and riddles

Which part of a road do Ghost's love to travel the most?
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The Dead End.

Jokes and riddles

What food lives at the beach?
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A sandwich.

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Jokes and riddles

What bird is always out of breath?
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A puffin.

Jokes and riddles

Why did they let the Turkey join the thanksgiving band?
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Because he had the drumsticks.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call a witch that lives on the beach?
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Sandwitch.