Jokes and riddles With Answers – Part 2

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a chicken with bad sunburn?
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Fried Chicken.

Jokes and riddles

Why didn't the car feel well?
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It had gas.

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Jokes and riddles

What did the two volcanos say to each other on valentine's day?
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Do you lava me like I lava you!!

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a foot that is about to step on to the ground?
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A footstep!

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Jokes and riddles

What is the best present you can receive for Christmas?
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A broken drum.� You just can't beat it!

Jokes and riddles

What do you get when you cross a black cat and a lemon?
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A Sour Puss.

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Jokes and riddles

Who was the the most famous Skeleton detective?
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Sherlock Bones.

Jokes and riddles

Why didn't the skeleton use a towel?
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Because he always comes out bone dry.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call a sleeping bull?
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A bulldozer!

Jokes and riddles

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
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Between you and me, something smells.

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Jokes and riddles

Where does a snowman keep his money?
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In a snow bank.

Jokes and riddles

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
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To get some spare - ribs.

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Jokes and riddles

Why don't cows have money?
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Because the farmer milks them dry.

Jokes and riddles

What do you get if you cross a snowman with a witch?
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A cold spell.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the cookie go to the doctors?
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It felt crummy.

Jokes and riddles

Why did Momma Pig leave her husband?
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Because he was a boar.

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Jokes and riddles

What happens after it is rains cats and dogs?
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You step in a poodle.

Jokes and riddles

What TV program should you watch in the bathtub?
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Soap operas.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call two math friends?
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Algebros!!

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a sticky crow?
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Vel-Crow (Velcro).

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Jokes and riddles

Stranger: Does your dog bite?
Farmer: Nope.
All of the sudden the dog bites the stranger on the leg. Yet the farmer was telling the truth! How can this be?
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It was not the farmers dog! �hahahaha

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a crate of ducks ?
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A box of quakers!

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the man stare at the can of orange juice?
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Because it said "concentrate."

Jokes and riddles

Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
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Because it ran out of Juice.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the football team go to the bank?
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To get a quarter back!

Jokes and riddles

Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
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To look for Pluto!

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Jokes and riddles

What do geologists do on their free time?
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Go to rock concerts.

Jokes and riddles

Why do they not allow you to fart in an Apple Store?
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Because They don't have Windows.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call a long line of hamsters that can't move?
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A hamsterjam.

Jokes and riddles

Why do cows wear bells?
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Because their horns don't work.

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Jokes and riddles

What do cats call mice on a skateboard?
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Meals on wheels!

Jokes and riddles

What happened to Einstein when he took a shower?
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He was brain-washed.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the credit card go to jail?
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It was guilty as charged.

Jokes and riddles

Today, my mom told me to help her check her balance. I did this without going to the bank. How?
Click to Flip
I pushed her over.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call a tree that has been TP'ed?
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A toiletry.

Jokes and riddles

What are ghost's favorite pants to wear?
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Boo-jeans.

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Jokes and riddles

How does Moses make his coffee?
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Hebrews it.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a sleeping cow?
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A bull-dozer.

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Jokes and riddles

What happens when a sea monster gets angry?
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It causes a comm-ocean.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a cow's bedtime stories?
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Dairy tales.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the boy eat his homework?
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Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Jokes and riddles

What's the first thing a dolphin learns at school?
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Her A-B-Seas.

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Jokes and riddles

How can you tell the difference between dogs and trees?
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By their bark.

Jokes and riddles

How does NASA throw a party?
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They planet.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the bicycle never cross the finish line?
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He was two-tired.

Jokes and riddles

Why are artist no good in sports matches?
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Because they keep drawing.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the baseball coach hire a piano player?
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Because his player had the perfect pitch!

Jokes and riddles

Why did Silly Billy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
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He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the pony cough?
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He was a little horse!

Jokes and riddles

Where do baby ghosts go while their parents work?
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To day scare!

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Jokes and riddles

What shoes do frogs wear in the summer?
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Open toad shoes.

Jokes and riddles

What does an aardvark like on his pizza?
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Ant - chovies.

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Jokes and riddles

Why don't zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
Click to Flip
Because they prefer to eat their fingers separately.

Jokes and riddles

In Ancient Egypt, what music did the mummies like most?
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Wrap Music.

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Jokes and riddles

What happened when the strawberry attempted to cross the road?
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There was a traffic jam!

Jokes and riddles

Why did it rain Pennies?
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Because there was a change in the weather.

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Jokes and riddles

My friend said, "What rhymes with orange"
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I said, "No it doesn't.

Jokes and riddles

What did Tony the Tiger wear to bed?
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Paw-jamas

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Jokes and riddles

Why didn't the man get hurt after getting hit by a full CoCo-Cola drink?
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Because it was a soft drink.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
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An antique!

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Jokes and riddles

What are the science teacher's favorite states?
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Solid, Liquid, Gas. The states of all matter.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a happy cowboy?
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A jolly rancher.

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Jokes and riddles

Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
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It takes a long time for them to swallow their pride.

Jokes and riddles

What did the dollar say to the four quarters?
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You've changed!

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Jokes and riddles

What is the sharpest thing in the world?
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A fart, it can go through your clothes without making a hole!

Jokes and riddles

Why did outlaws sleep on the ground after robbing a bank?
Click to Flip
They wanted to lie low.

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Jokes and riddles

What U.S. state makes the most writing utensils?
Click to Flip
Pencil- vania!

Jokes and riddles

What sweets do geologists like?
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Rock candy.

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Jokes and riddles

Where do all unwanted shoes go?
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Boot camp.

Jokes and riddles

What do spiders like with their hamburgers?
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French flies.

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Jokes and riddles

Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
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Because Noah sat on the deck.

Jokes and riddles

How do shells get around in the ocean?
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A taxi crab.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the belt go to jail?
Click to Flip
For holding up a pair of pants.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a bunch of dolls waiting in line for grilled meat?
Click to Flip
A Barbie-Queue (barbecue).

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call a cow that plays instruments?
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A moo-sician!

Jokes and riddles

What is the difference between a booger and broccoli?
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Kids won't eat broccoli.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did mom test the bath water before putting Silly Billy in?
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To prevent son-burn.

Jokes and riddles

What was the spider doing on the baseball team?
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Catching flies.

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Jokes and riddles

John bets Tom $100 that he can predict the score of the football game before it starts. Tom agrees, but loses the bet.
Why did Tom lose the bet?
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John said the score would be 0-0 and he was right. "Before" any football game starts, the score is always 0-0.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call a fake noodle?
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An impasta!

Jokes and riddles

What do you call unhappy cranberries?
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Blueberries.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call a baby rifle?
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Son of a gun.

Jokes and riddles

When do truck drivers stop to eat?
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Whenever they come to a fork in the road.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call santa for cats?
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Santa paws.

Jokes and riddles

Why did the sheriff go to the barbeque?
Click to Flip
He heard it was a place to have a steak out.

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Jokes and riddles

What does a shark eat with peanut butter?
Click to Flip
Jellyfish!

Jokes and riddles

Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair?
Click to Flip
To rock in roll!

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Jokes and riddles

Why do chickens lay eggs?
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Because if they drop them, they will break.

Jokes and riddles

Why did the radish turn red?
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It saw the salad dressing.

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Jokes and riddles

What happened when the rubber duckie fell into the bathtub?
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It quacked up.

Jokes and riddles

Why did the outlaw hold up the bakery?
Click to Flip
He kneaded the dough.

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Jokes and riddles

What instrument does a skeleton play?
Click to Flip
Trombone.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a bear with no ear?
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A b!

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Jokes and riddles

What is the best thing to put into pies?
Click to Flip
Your teeth.

Jokes and riddles

What is a mouse' favorite type of house?
Click to Flip
Cottage cheese!

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Jokes and riddles

What do you get if you cross a hen with a guitar?
Click to Flip
A chicken that plucks itself.

Jokes and riddles

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Click to Flip
In case he got a hole-in-one.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the can crusher quit his job?
Click to Flip
Because it was soda pressing.

Jokes and riddles

How do you divide the sea in half?
Click to Flip
With a sea saw.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the spider get a job in I.T.?
Click to Flip
Because he was a great web designer.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a robot that takes the longest route?
Click to Flip
R2-dtour.

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Jokes and riddles

Why did the tire need a vacation?
Click to Flip
It couldn't take the pressure anymore?

Jokes and riddles

What do mathematics teachers like to eat?
Click to Flip
Pi.

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Jokes and riddles

What do spanish speaking sheep say at christmas time?
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Fleece Navidad.

Jokes and riddles

What do you call a spy who sleeps with a blanket over his head?
Click to Flip
An undercover agent.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call a three humped camel?
Click to Flip
Pregnant.

Jokes and riddles

What did the thief get for stealing the calendar?
Click to Flip
12 Months.

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Jokes and riddles

What do you call a camel with no humps?
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Humphrey.